Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Life Sometimes Makes Me Sad

Remember this blog is not just about the 'porn style adult' side of me but me as a person. For you to get to know me better and hear/read what makes me tick.

Yesterday while out doing a bit of grocery shopping I happened to run into the owner of a local butcher not too far away from me. We had a small chat while he waited in line at the check-out and I found out that due to some rather not so good times between him and his wife (ex-wife now) that he is having to choose to close shop and settle for working with a grocery store firm as a manager instead. This just made my look into life a little deeper again as I have only been around here for about 12yrs or so.

People that meet me and hear about my move here to be with Camera Man tend to ask one really simple question... 'Do you have kids/children?'. My answer is of course always no and usually responded to by 'do you plan to have any?'. Again, my answer is no. Camera Man was snipped way way way back just a few months after we got married by the choice of both of us. I don't want kids, I've been through that experience and really rather not do it again and he is 12yrs older then me and more then set in his ways. Now his reasons might be different then mine but here is a look into it from my eyes. Why do I want to bring a child into the world that this and already past generations have started to slowly destroy? Yes perhaps my child could be a super nerd and be *THE ONE* that finds world peace, cure hunger all over the world or find the cure for all life threatening problems but more chance is that he/she will just be the average joe/jill, live their lives as I have (looking to make yourself and your family happy), work til you can't work any more, live until you are forced to have someone else care for you or until you finally pass away from some cause or another (or that is at least how the circle of life should happen as they say).

I don't want to bring a child into this world... they will only have to deal with all the stuff that has already been done to this poor world. Don't worry about other countries even but just even what is right in front of your noses. My reason for posting this in the first place too. In just the short time I've lived in this area, I have made friends, lost friends, had friends die, seen shops who's owners I have become friends with (butcher) and more. I have seen (including my very own place of work of again the owners I am friends with too) go out of business, have to close shop, can't make ends meat because of the recession and all that.

I won't go into detail about each shop or it's location (TMFI in this case) but needless to say some of it is for the STUPIDEST reasons. Like the butcher for instance, without his wife, he can't run the store on his own but this shop has been there for 30/40yrs because it was his parents! OMG because his own wife decided to just up and throw the towel in (she fell it seems for another man some where or another) her own mindless self centering act just out of the blue one Christmas day (yes she did it on xmas) decided to take their child some where and then phone to let him know she wasn't coming back is causing a FAMILY business of almost 4decades go out of business.

Now I know, being married and running a shop like that has to take a lot but if you know the family you are marrying into and you love the person enough to marry them in the first place, YOU WORK THINGS OUT. You do *NOT* go for the 'grass is greener on the other side' thing. You talk to your mate, you work things out and if indeed there isn't a good understandable reason to stay together, then you split on reasonable terms. Perhaps if that had happened, she could still be working there, helping keep the shop open and family owned the way things should be.

I can think back on the days I see only on TV or in old ads. You know the days our generation's parents grew up in. Where your local stores were small and family owned generation after generation and ran until there just wasn't another generation to take them over or they sold on for a good healthy and well earned retirement.

Now a days, a business is good if they can make it 4yrs without closing it seems. This day in age makes me sad. No one cares about anyone any more. They worry of only the ol' mighty dollar (or euro in my case) going into their own pocket and never about the other little guy. *sigh*

Even as I type this, I think of the gentleman that bought the store that I worked. He has papers to re-open as the same shop (hopefully taking me on as his manager if he does) but I think is even being white washed with the owner of the building coming in with a 'I am selling the building' after the papers for the store to open were signed. I know for a fact that the owner of the building has been 'trying to sell' since the warmer weather last year, I have *NEVER* seen any 'for sale' signs on the building any where and trust me I am keeping a good eye on this store! So how is it that he can have an arrangement with said store EU head office to have that company paying the rent for the months that there have been no store owners so that said company can find a new owners of the store if he is 'selling' it?? Not to mention the company he so claims is interested in buying is a chocolate company that happens to have a store located within 4 blocks one direction and about the same amount of blocked in the other direction. So why in hells name would they open one in the middle of the 2? *shrug* It's things like this that I look at in every day life... people don't give a rat's ass about other people 90% of the time.

Why do people not care any more? When did people stop having a heart? When did people start looking at you oddly if you suddenly 'said' something to them in the middle of the street? When did all of this happen? I can remember even a time when you could still ask a person what time it was without them thinking 'don't you have a phone or a watch or something' instead of just telling you what the damn time was. I can remember a time when you 'made friends' by simply starting a conversation on a street corner while waiting for the next bus but now if you do that, you get odd looks.

Man I had fun fucking with an old lady's mind today... I do this often BTW (not the old lady's mind thing but fucking around in this way, just cause I can). So firstly, you have this self righteous idiots that because someone like *ME* (said out of country person) think down on me because I do not speak THEIR language, in this case Flemish. Now these said idiots (or in the case today, old lady) speak up in their own language of course to who ever happens to be next to them (I was checking out at a local store today because I forgot to get some cheese I needed for dinner tonight) after I had been speaking to the cashier (who was speaking english with me too) about hearing the 'achey breaky heart' country song (damn thing is STILL stuck in my mind). She started of course right in on how people like myself should be speaking in the native language and that people like me have no rights to be here if they can't and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Ok so I let her go on until she was packing her things and started to go in again after a moment of silence about 'when she was young' and on again about the language that I spoke up, in my firmest but calmest voice that I also spoke the language, understood the language and thought that her pre-assuming righteous bullshit she just spoke was a bunch of horse crap basically, in Flemish of course.

I think I just about saw her jaw drop and her picking it up off the floor. Because after that she was the kindest little old lady, trying her best to speak to me in english (after of course also trying to say that I should speak french as to where I commented very quickly of course that I have no need for that since I live in the flemish speaking area of Belgium and if I ever choose to move to the French speaking part, then I'd learn that too) and asking for my help to get her bag over her shoulders.

It just makes you think. People think they are all high and mighty. That THEY are the shit that doesn't stink and that they know all that should be right in the world. When let's face it, they don't know shit. Today just proved that. Not everyone in this world is some kind of idiot or bullshitting SOB out to rob people of 'community' or state jobs or the like. You know, I'm not from here remember *eyes*.

So people, have some thought behind your actions. If you think you are the bee's knees, by all means, believe it but stay away from me, I've had enough. Start thinking of people other then yourselves and your self indulging thoughts such as this time where people think automatically that because someone spoke in another language with a clearly out of country accent that they there for know nothing of their place they live, that they don't respect it, that we're only here to steal their jobs and the food off their plates because we 'live here' when in fact, you will find far more people like myself that clearly know and respect, where as you (who ever you may be that thinks like the above do not) where I live.

Anyhow, that is enough to this post. The world is a sad place now a days, even just in our own back yards. Think about it a while and you will see what I mean I'm sure in your own back yard too.

I say PEACE people... relax, enjoy life, take what you have at the moment for the moment, live life to the fullest and stop fucking worrying about what life is going to throw at you in 10yrs or 100yrs time. You very well might not even be here in the time you are worrying or making other's lives harder.

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